{"id":13526,"date":"2024-03-27T21:30:00","date_gmt":"2024-03-27T21:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/?p=13526"},"modified":"2024-03-29T12:57:57","modified_gmt":"2024-03-29T12:57:57","slug":"health-wellbeing-a-new-lease-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/?p=13526","title":{"rendered":"HEALTH & WELLBEiNG: A New Lease of Life?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
I had my day in court, here.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s 5.30 am, and I\u2019ve been awake already, albeit drifting in and out of sleep, for a couple of hours. But overall I\u2019ve had a good nights sleep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I seem to be settling into a new pattern, of going to bed and waking up earlier. I generally turn in anytime between 7.30-10 pm (usually about 8-8.30\u2019ish), and wake around 5.30-6 am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But this post isn\u2019t really about sleep habits. Rather, it\u2019s chiefly about something that\u2019s been hanging over me, like the Sword of Damocles – or that big swinging cleaver in The Pit & The Pendulum!<\/em> – for just over fourteen months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I haven\u2019t felt able to talk about it publicly, my analogy being that it\u2019s rather like – pardon the crudeness – sh*tt*ng one\u2019s pants. Not that I\u2019ve done that, btw! But if one did, it\u2019s not news to loudly trumpet far and wide. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
James Twelvetrees\u2019 (Jeffrey Holland) favourite saying?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Indeed, in relation to what I\u2019ve been through, recently, the saying \u2018least said, soonest mended\u2019 seems fairly apt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of the reason I\u2019m finally putting something about it into the public sphere (if my blog can be considered in that light?) is that I\u2019ve been under this awful duress for so long, I\u2019m wondering how long it\u2019ll take to come out of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For now I\u2019m not going to go into any great detail. All I will say, is that a false accusation was made against me, which had a catastrophic effect on my then career, as a music teacher, and my mental health. I twice attempted to hang myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I was charged with a crime I didn\u2019t commit, and – after fourteen months of agony – yesterday I had my day in court. Neither the complainant – my accuser – nor either of the two chief\/alleged \u2018witnesses\u2019 bothered to appear at court.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My case was dismissed. Partly for lack of evidence; CCTV footage allegedly recording my supposed offence didn\u2019t, in fact, show anything. And partly due to the no show of those who had made the accusation against me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I was single, I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019d be pursuing a Civil Case for Defamation now. I did discuss this with, Charlotte, the solicitor who represented me. But Teresa is advising me to let it go, and put it all behind me. Which I think is probably very good advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s been enormously stressful and debilitating, living under the shadow of this for so long. Do I really want to prolong all of that? I\u2019m not ruling out seeking redress. But I think for my immediate recovery and well-being, it\u2019s better that I look and move forwards, not rake over old muck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve struggled with depression since my mid-teens. For lots of different reasons. I think it may have started with social alienation as a schoolchild. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was then compounded by what Robert Crumb has called My Troubles With Women<\/em>. And grew worse when first psoriasis began (mid-teens), then my parents split up (late teens), and psoriatic arthritis was added to the brew (mid-twenties).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, in quite recent times a combination of a fairly stable domestic and work existence, along with medications that were ameliorating both my physical and mental ailments, I had become happy<\/em>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then two things happened: I was summarily (and unfairly, I hold) dismissed from a teaching post. This was a position I\u2019d held for four years. And I was fired by a new music head not yet even four months into the job (I wasn\u2019t the only casualty of his axe). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why? For not responding promptly enough to all of his emails! I might note that he, on occasion, didn\u2019t respond at all<\/em> to some of mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Had I been a proper employee of the school, a due process type procedure would\u2019ve been set in motion. But peripatetic teachers such as me have almost no rights or safeguards whatsoever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Our local \u2018Spoons.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This event brought about a relapse into depression. And, to compound it all, I was out \u2018drowning my sorrows\u2019, at a local pub, with a neighbour, who I assumed was also a pal, when the events – non-events in truth, as the allegation was false – that lead to this fourteen-month nightmare transpired. Or rather didn\u2019t<\/em>, if you see what I mean!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember it all so vividly. A Sunday afternoon; Teresa pleading with me not go out. In all of our time together, and especially since moving to March, I\u2019ve very rarely gone to pubs without her, even more rarely with other folk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And she never liked this particular neighbour anyway, seeing him – and hindsight rather vindicates her on this – as a bad influence on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was saying \u2018Honey, I need this; I just want to relax!\u2019 Thinking, what possible harm could a pint or two with a local pal do? Well, it turns out it can be very<\/em> harmful, to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There have been numerous outcomes of this whole horrible scenario. My career as a music teacher has – whether temporarily or permanently, I\u2019m not sure yet – ended. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wanted to stop teaching anyway. But most decidedly not<\/em> under these circumstances! At least now I\u2019m free to resume, should I want to. At present I don\u2019t. But that may change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Out delivering, earlier today. Not too bad!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Another outcome is that I\u2019ve been working for around a year, or a bit longer, as an Amazon delivery driver. That hasn\u2019t been ideal. But it\u2019s been alright. I do, for the most part, actually enjoy it. It doesn\u2019t pay well enough; less than half what I earned per hour, teaching. But it\u2019s easier and less stressful. And I like being out and about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I\u2019ve alluded to already, in the foregoing, I\u2019ve been living under appalling stress caused by the false accusation, and it\u2019s possible fall out, for so long – fourteen months – I\u2019m not sure I can just \u2018snap out\u2019 of the patterns of anxiety that have been induced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve also gone tee-total. That\u2019s taken a good while to come into effect. But I suppose it\u2019s good for both my physical and mental health. And it\u2019s also saving me money. I was drinking every day. And the fiscal costs alone were not good, given my generally straitened circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Where I live, these days.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I think that about does it for this post. I\u2019m not sure if should or shouldn\u2019t be putting this out there? Part of the reason I\u2019m doing so is to purge myself of it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yesterday, after the judge refused an adjournment requested by the prosecution, and dismissed the case, for both lack of evidence and lack of anyone accusing or testifying against me, I felt immense relief. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Slowly, over the course of the day, that turned to joy. As I felt the weight lifted from me. We even went out to The Ivy, on Trinity Street, for a celebratory lunch. Which was lovely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Lunch at The Ivy.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But this whole nightmare has really told on me. And I think recovery is going to take time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still, I\u2019m grateful to Charlotte, my solicitor, for a job well done. And the Judge, Mrs Harrison, for a just – if horribly lengthily deferred – outcome. And Teresa and friends and family for emotional and practical support, through what may well have been one of the hardest episodes thus far in my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not religious, but I feel compelled (by tradition and habit) to say, Thank God the nightmare is finally over. Now, please may I be permitted to resume a \u2018normal\u2019 life!?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s 5.30 am, and I\u2019ve been awake already, albeit drifting in and out of sleep, for a couple of hours. But overall I\u2019ve had a good nights sleep. I seem to be settling into a new pattern, of going to bed and waking up earlier. I generally turn in anytime between 7.30-10 pm (usually about … <\/p>\n

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