{"id":7901,"date":"2022-12-31T09:02:49","date_gmt":"2022-12-31T09:02:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/?p=7901"},"modified":"2023-03-23T23:30:38","modified_gmt":"2023-03-23T23:30:38","slug":"misc-dreams-vs-reality-changing-failing-vision","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/?p=7901","title":{"rendered":"MiSC: Dreams vs Reality, & Changing\/Failing Vision\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Dali\u2019s Persistence of Memory<\/em>, 1931. A classic dreamscape.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Some cheerful thoughts for New Year\u2019s Eve\u2026 On waking today I don\u2019t feel – and I never ever<\/em> do – any great desire to leap into action. I\u2019ve always been someone who wanted to stay in the warm cocoon of sleep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the years I\u2019ve sometimes thought about why this might be, but oft-times I\u2019ve just left it at that; the bald but somewhat uncomfortable fact that, for me, being asleep is often preferable to being awake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the reasons that I might feel this struck me today, as I returned to the cosiness of our bed after a morning ablute; my dream life might well be – or at least feel<\/em> – more interesting than my real life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the years I\u2019ve struggled with depression, which seems to afflict much of our family. And I suspect I\u2019m dangerously close to a bout at present. Some of it has to do with unrealised ambitions. And in that respect dream life might sometimes be more \u2018satisfying\u2019 than real life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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A ubiquitous meme, offering some kind of hope.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Although that said, I\u2019ve frequently had what might be termed \u2018performance anxiety\u2019 dreams, which seem very much related to real life. These, by the way, are very non-Freudian; musical not sexual. My musical dream life is quite like my real life! But my sexual dream life? Well, I\u2019ll leave a veil over that for now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, this is all a bit gloomy, I must confess. And I\u2019m not all that comfortable writing it, and potentially sharing it online. And sadly so too is the second part of this post. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having turned 50 I find my eyesight has seriously deteriorated. Where once I only needed one pair of glasses, I now clearly need two. But I still only have the one! This situation is causing me a lot of annoyance and inconvenience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From trying to work on the computer, to hobbies such as reading or figure painting, and even stuff like driving, a lot of everyday stuff that was easy is now a right arse-ache. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I\u2019m not a natural fan of Banksy\u2019s art. But he nails it here.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not going to dwell on it here and now. But failing vision also feels like a metaphor for this stage of my life. Surrounded by the clutter of numerous unfulfilled ambitions, vision failing, it all seems part of a single larger malaise! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, there it is. I have confessed and, I hope, unburdened myself a little. Is that any good? Any real use? I have no idea, and, frankly, doubt it. But it feels both necessary and inevitable. So there it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One final thought\u2026 will these circumstances lead to any change in my lifestyle? Should I ditch some of the hobbies that are now so much harder, like model making or figure painting? And what about music? Is it time to abandon unfulfilled dreams? Scary thoughts. But unavoidable, I fear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is, or so I currently conceive, that I\u2019ll probably just continue, as I always have, to roll onwards, a tumbleweed soul, self-soothing with mild pleasures. And unwilling or unable to go that necessary extra mile, in pursuit of possibly illusory dreams\/ambitions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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How deal with the hand we are dealt?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s life, eh? Or rather, my<\/em> life. Ho hum\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

FOOTNOTE:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Later the same day\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I feel much<\/em> better. Could this simply be due to co-codamol? Or did laying that psychic coil, that spiritually black stool, have a purging effect? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mood change might well be ascribed to bipolar manic depressive tendencies. I.e. part of the problem, albeit the more pleasant part. But I\u2019m just grateful that I no longer feel so Eeyore-ish!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And gratitude – being grateful for what I have, rather than lamenting what I lack – is, I think, a key piece in the happier personality puzzle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonny Otis, with Shuggie and Delmar \u2018Mighty Mouth\u2019, are helping, belting\u2019 out thoze blooze!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some cheerful thoughts for New Year\u2019s Eve\u2026 On waking today I don\u2019t feel – and I never ever do – any great desire to leap into action. I\u2019ve always been someone who wanted to stay in the warm cocoon of sleep. Over the years I\u2019ve sometimes thought about why this might be, but oft-times I\u2019ve … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “MiSC: Dreams vs Reality, & Changing\/Failing Vision\u2026”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paGwUa-23r","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7901"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7901"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7901\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8519,"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7901\/revisions\/8519"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sebpalmer.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}