DAYS OUT: St Peter’s, Upwell

I’m trying what is, to me, a new feature, the Gallery Block, in the WordPress blog builder app. A lot of my posts are picture heavy things on churches, or whatever. And with the normal editor I have to input every image separately. This allows me to upload a whole suite of pics in one go. I should’ve twigged this ages ago!

Having finally cottoned on to this feature, I’ll have to go through a load of old posts, updating them, methinks!

The light behind these seed heads was utterly spellbinding. These photos do the subject little to no justice, alas.

MEDiA: Napoleon, Review

Well, we went to the Cineworld complex, on the edge of Ely, yesterday, and watched Ridley Scott’s new film, Napoleon.

Released in the UK on 22nd November, and running just short of two hours and forty minutes, it finds the director returning to the same era in which his first feature film, The Duellists, was set.

Apparently, thus far, it is set to ‘break even’, fairly soon. However, the screening we saw was very poorly attended. The room was practically empty. Most of the folk at the cinema complex – and it was pretty busy overall – were there to see Wonka. A reflection of the shallow vapid times we live in? I reckon so.

Without recapitulating the story – Napoleon’s life and the era that bears his name are a source of endless historical and fictional telling and re-telling, as this movie helps demonstrate – I’m going to get straight to the heart of the issue.

There are two chief problems with Scott’s film:

First, unlike the ‘Little Boney’ of Georgian propaganda (who was in fact simply of average height for his time) it really is way too short. You simply cannot tell a story of the scope and grandeur Napoleon’s life entails in the time this movie allocates.

Boney and Josey, at his Coro’ bash.

Even in longer series – from the numerous War & Peace adaptations, to Ian Holm’s Napoleon & Love – the amount of ‘exposition’ any such brevity requires is anathema to engaging drama.

Second, historical accuracy. Legend has it that Napoleon said history is only lies that have been agreed upon. Others say that ‘history teaches nothing’. Well, I beg to differ, somewhat. We can learn from history. And it can be nearer to or farther from genuine truth.

Such disservice to the far more interesting reality, and also, more fundamentally and worryingly, the whole idea of ‘the quest for truth’, is significant.

The catalogue of egregious messing with historical verité is massive. From the vandalism of Egyptian archaeology, to his relationship with Josephine, and even the ways in which he fought his battles, there’s just way too much disrespect for reality.

This is a fab shot.

Let’s just unpack a few of these…

I’ll start with Bonaparte in Egypt. It’s long been known that the Sphinx’s nose was missing long before Napoleon arrived en Egypte. Never mind the fact that the battle in which this fictional damage takes place actually occurred a significant distance away from the monuments in question.

Far from being a wrecking machine – although war does inevitably bring destruction – Napoleon was renowned for taking with him to Egypt not just a military expedition, but also a virtual army of so-called Savants. The respect for and interest in Egyptian history Napoleon and his compatriots had greatly enriched the field of ‘Egyptology’, and includes the discovery of the Rosetta Stone, whose deciphering would eventually be accomplished by another Frenchman, Jean-François Champollion.

Much worse than this, to my mind, however, is how Scott et al treat Napoleon’s relationship with Josephine. For starters, in reality she was older than him. Hence her inability – despite having had children with her previous husband – to bear Napoleon an heir.

Josephine, by Antoine-Jean Gros, c. 1809.

In my view the casting for this movie is not a strength. Staying with the Josephine thread, Vanessa Kirby is totally miscast. Billie Whitelaw, in her early 40s at the time, was a much better choice, for the TV series Napoleon And Love, back in the 1970s.

Even worse, we have Napoleon striking Josephine, during their divorce. Erm… nope. Didn’t happen! And yet worse still… can it get much worse? Napoleon returns from his exile on Elba, to fight what would become his last campaign, The Hundred Days, culminating in the epoch-ending Battle of Waterloo, on her account! What the absolute fuck!? She had actually been dead for over a year.

Sadly, and despite having respected historian of the era, Michael Broers, as ‘historical consultant’, Scott’s film plays so fast and loose with ‘truth’ as to very seriously impair the whole project. To wreck it, in point of fact.

I typed a whole other chunk about the military aspects of this film. But sadly WordPress and/or my home broadband (thanks, Virgin!) conspired to lose that for me. I’m not sure I can be arsed to rewrite it!

Gillray’s Maniac Ravings, 1803.

The British have, for the most part, had a very vexed relationship with Napoleon and historical accuracy. The dominant theme – he who pays the piper, and all that – as expressed in the Gillray print above, has been to caricature ‘Boney’ as a short-arse power-mad despot.

Does this film help remedy this historic litany of ahistorical Ancien Regime style propaganda? Alas, no.

Despite this rather damning account from me here, I may well watch this film again. In the perhaps forlorn hope that, on a second viewing, I might enjoy it more.

MEDiA: Napoleon, Ridley Scott

I just booked tickets for this new Ridley Scott Movie. Anyone who knows me at all well will know I’m a bit of a Napoleonic history nutter.

Ridley Scott’s first film feature movie was the wonderful The Duellists*, released in 1977. This is far and away my favourite Scott movie, so far. Yes, Alien and Gladiator are brilliant entertainment. But The Duellists is a work of art and love that the directors’ more commercial movies fail to match.

* Based on a Joseph Conrad short story, which in turn was based on a real life story.

Scott directs Keith Carradine and Harvey Keitel, on set, in The Duellists.

So… Scott is returning, it would appear, to a true personal passion. Will this translate into a movie that might equal or outdo his earlier foray into this most exciting and colourful era?

He now has, thanks to modern digital technology, the ability to recreate epic scenes that he didn’t have, back when he started out. Will this enhance the end product?

Napoleon Crossing the Alps, by J. L. David.

One imagines that it must inevitably do so. But modern cinema as a whole illustrates perfectly, to me at any rate, that grand spectacle alone can very often and very easily be utterly empty and meaningless.

Napoleon, as David portrayed him, circa 1811.

The casting is obviously massively important. Will Joaquin Phoenix cut it? I guess we’ll find out fairly soon. How will they deal with the transition from the lean and hungry youth, to corpulent and balding ‘little corporal’?

The younger Boney, en Égypte.

From the numerous stills I’ve scene, and the simple one word title, one assumes this movie will attempt to tell most of all of the subject’s story. That’s a mammoth undertaking! One that has defeated everyone from Thomas Hardy (with his massive ‘unstageable’ play, The Dynasts), in the 19th C., to Abel Gance and Stanley Kubrick, in the 20th.

Albert Dieudonné as the young Boney, in Gance’s 1927 film.

Gance famously blew his entire budget – intending a complete six-part telling of Napoleon’s life – only getting as far as the first instalment (youth and the conquest of Italy), and making a film almost as hard show or to watch as it was to make.

Kubrick, meanwhile, assembled an incredible preparatory archive – subsequently published in book form by Taschen, something that surely Ridley Scott will have drawn upon? – yet failed to make the film itself.

Taschen’s book on Kubrick’s unfinished work.

Checking in on the latter reveals that Spielberg and HBO might be planning to complete this. Read more about that tantalising possibility here.

I have to confess, I’m equal parts excited and trepidatious about the prospect of actually seeing this film, which I’ve been aware of for about a year or so now.

I’ll post again when we actually go see it…

HOME/DiY: Outside Solar Light

Fab! We can see stuff out back.

Teresa got us a solar powered light for outside the back door. We’ve needed something like this for aeons. I did install a mains powered light above the back door. But we never got it connected to the mains.

Well done, my love.

ART & CULTURE: Peanuts Complete, Vol. I

Teresa was watching a Nigella Xmas cookery show, on her tablet. They played several terrific Vince Guaraldi numbers.

That got me googling, and I discovered that Fantagraphics are publishing the entire Peanuts oeuvre! You can read more about that here.

I’ve just ordered a used copy of the first volume.

MiSC: Thursday, Furze-day!

What a guy!

Whilst delivering in Stamford, I passed what looked suspiciously like it might be Colin Furze’s property.

I wasn’t delivering there. Tho’ I had just delivered nearby. I passed a particular property, stopped, and thought ‘that’s gotta be it!?’ So I ‘googled’ the subject, and, sho’ nuff…

Well, I oughtn’t and so won’t share that stuff. Even though it’s out there for anyone who cares to look.

But having established that my guess was correct, I thought, what’s to lose? I’ll see if he’s ‘home’. And sure enough he was. It looked like break-time, in the lounge, with Rick.

Colin spotted me approaching, and answered the door. I’m not a fanboy type generally. But I do love Colin and his wacky YouTube shenanigans. Especially all the underground stuff.

I had an ‘underground tunnel club’, as a kid, and planned a Great Escape style getaway between my primary school and our home (about three miles!). Unfortunately we lived next door to an electricity sub-station… and, guess what!? Anyhoo, that’s another story.

I’d have liked to have asked for a guided tour. But I was working. And so, in all likelihood, was Colin. So I demurred. Asking only for a selfie with him. And he obliged. I hope one day, if I’m in the area again, I might pluck up the courage to ask to have a look around.

I’d have loved to have stopped and chatted more. Maybe another time? Still, meeting him and finding out where the underground stuff is happening really made my day.

Colin, you’re a major dude!

Oh, and note to self: get a selfie-stick, and/or learn to take better selfies. Colin looks great. I look like a right tool.

DAYS OUT: West o’ The ‘Boro’…

St. Leonard’s, Apethorpe.

Despite the plethora of churches I’m currently viewing on my travels, there are many I don’t stop for. At all. Some, like St Leonard’s, Apethorpe, I might snap on my way past, but I don’t stop for. There are sooo many!

Strange castellated water tower, Apethorpe.

As I left Apethorpe, I spotted this rather odd castellated water tower, behind some trees in a field. Weird! I like when folk do that bit more than plain functionality requires. It adds character.

All Saints, Kings Cliffe.

There are sooo many pretty villages around these parts. The aulde parts of Kings Cliffe, for example, are stunning. All Saints was closed/locked, alas. But it’s handsome enough from without. But I must go back and have a look around inside as well, some day.

Church o’ St Mary, Duddington.

The Church of St. Mary, Doddington, was at least open. The door has these amazing and hoooge metal hinges that I totally failed to capture. Must go back to snap ‘em properly. The inside has interesting rounded (Saxon, as opposed to Norman?) arches:

Nice rounded arches.

Rather oddly only two of the six arches feature the pretty ornamental patterning, seen at right. The graveyard is small but very picturesque.

Easton On The Hill is another shockingly beautiful place. Sadly the pics don’t do justice to the vertiginous and higgledy-piggledy nature of the place.

Little yellow Corvette… Easton on the Hill.
Lichens on a Lion gate-guard, Easton on’t Hill.
Intriguing architecture, leaving Easton.

Stamford is a very picturesque town. But my deliveries today were in the less attractive parts. That said, my route did take me past YouTube sensation Colin Furze’s house, where he’s digging his famous ‘secret tunnel’ complex. But I’ll post separately on that!

The only non-Furze pic from Stamford today is this rather amusing bit of street name signage:

I thought broken hearts lead to melancholy walks!?
St Mary’s, Ketton.

Yet another gobsmackingly gorgeous place is Ketton. The place gives its name to one of the many local stones, which make the local architecture sooo damnably attractive. I delivered packages to properties either side of Sy Mary’s, affording ample opportunity to snap this fantastic church.

The view from no. 21.
The view from no. 27.

No 21’s front garden is part of St Mary’s graveyard! And no. 27, an astonishing property in itself, has a beautiful garden giving beautiful views of the church. Some people are very fortunate!

Slight pano’ of bridge at Ketton.
Road closed due to flooding!

The road out of Ketton towards Nassington was flooded (above). Whilst contemplating risking driving through, the farmer, whose land it is that’s either side of the road, turned up. I asked how deep his field were flooded. Two to three feet in places, he reckoned. And the road? Not so deep. Maybe eighteen inches? But not worth the risk! He kindly explained an alternate route.

Coronation chicken sarnies, salad, Camp coffee.

I had been thinking of eating a McDonalds lunch. But then, whilst driving through Ketton, I remembered Elsie’s Vintage Tea Room. No competition! I’d wanted one of their baked potatoes. But they were all out. So I had Coronation chicken sandwiches, with a side salad, and a Camp coffee. Nice!

The attention to period detail is terrific.

I was lucky to find a free table. All the others were reserved. it’s such a wonderful place. Even their retro-Christmas music was fun. If I’m in a supermarket, by contrast the enforced jollity if seasonal sounds can be quite falling.

And finally, home, to dear young Chester… who alas clearly mighty pleased to see me. As I was to see him.

Good to be home, eh, boy?

HOME/DiY: Finished Repainting!

The current view from in bed.

Today, after my four hour morning am delivery shift, and lunch at Elsie’s, when I got home – after a love-fest with Chester – I finished repainting the walls of the master bedroom.

There are still some things that need doing: bits of skirting board, repairs to a chest o’drawers, etc. But having the walls done, a uniform colour, makes a big difference. To me at any rate.

Partial pano’, showing colour transitions before.

The above pic was the start of play today. From the area atop the shelves by the draught-excluder curtain, clockwise to the right of the mirror, you can see the old Egyptian Cotton colour.

The new colour (Cupcake?) is warmer and brighter. A definite improvement, methinks.

And after… another ‘partial pano’’.

The above is the after picture. Prior to replacing the mirror over the headboard. The panorama function can distort things (e.g. the lampshade!). Plus the numerous lamps make the colour less uniform looking. Oh, and there’s the dreaded mid-job mess.

There’s still a fair deal to be done: furniture to be mended, skirting boards to be painted, leads/wires to be tidied away (routed/hidden, etc.). And muchos declutterama!

DAYS OUT: Mystery Trip, Pt. II

This photo fails utterly!

I took the above photograph while out delivering today. It fails utterly to capture the amazing contrast between heavy leaden grey skies and a band of pinkish-orange luminescence that was so arresting I had to stop traffic to take the shot.

Selfie alert.

I don’t go in for selfies, as a rule. But I wanted to see myself as I was seeing myself, so to speak. Also, this room is very like, in terms of wall colour, our blue room, back home. You think you’re being different, only to find you’re part of the zeitgeist!

Where be this, then?
Nice door glass.
Crappy pic of amazing chandelier.

Strolling towards supper, I took a few urban nightlife pics. Good God, I’m so out of the loop these days. But I should care.

Going all Poirot, avec my napkin.

Shouldn’t have indulged in eating out. The food was great. But my sensitive nature was offended by the grossness of humanity. Teresa liked the nosh. Thank goodness. But she don’t like ‘avin ‘er pitcher took…

DAYS iN: Chester, Meds & DIY/Chores

Dear ol’ Chester is evidently pleased I’m back home.

I had just enough time between my two delivery shifts today to pop home briefly. I needed to fit several reasons. For one, I’d forgotten to take my fortnightly injection last Sunday.

Time to get this done and dusted.

I can also do a few sundry chores: wrap a few more presssies, poss paint a bit more of the master bedroom wall; maybe hang the large mirror (I attached the mounting doodad just before our little break), and change into a new/fresh set of duds.

Chester is purring away mightily. Gorgeous!

I’ve fed Chester a bit: both regular dry food and some Dreamies (if that’s what they’re called?). A bit of bonding via his tummy is fine!

I’m fairly pleased with this.

I also mounted or ‘hung’ the large wooden framed mirror, over the (fairly) recently acquired chesty o’drawers, mit der blau front. It seems fairly well places/square. Mind, I’m not sure anything’s plumb square in this house!

That’s why there were no doors at all in the upstairs areas; all the walls and doorframes are out o’ whack. I’ve subsequently installed doors in all the empty frames. But the only serve to illustrate how wonky everything is!